The post without a name

Making your living taking blood from other people is right up there in weird career choices.

I mean, it's not as bad as being a dentist or a proctologist, but it is fairly high on the list.

I'm getting pretty used to it. I'm still a little amazed at the speed and efficiency these (mostly) women perform their job. Usually virtually painless and without issue.

There was the one time...

The first male blood-letter I had, or at least that I can remember, was an interesting experience. The needle went in just fine and the first vial filled as expected. As he pulled the vial out in order to replace it with the second vial, the needle came out.

I'm not sure of which one of us was more surprised.

Suffice it to say, he quickly remedied the situation, apologizing profusely.

Honestly, I wasn't that bugged about it.

I did ask him if he was new at this.

His reply, as he sighed, "Sadly, no."

We wrapped up with him still apologizing and me shrugging it off. Shit happens.

Like clockwork, a couple of hours later I get the results showing me everything that's wrong with me. Boy, was that going to start to get interesting.

But more on that later.

The treatments ended about 4 1/2 weeks ago. Yay. now we start the heal right? Get my taste back, the mouth sores will disappear, the radiation burns will subside.

They kept telling me the first 2-3 weeks after radiation stopped is the worst. Things will get worse before they get better.

They weren't kidding.

The fatigue, light-headedness, the mouth sores, the weight loss, the blood-work results, the gummy, dry mouth.

Where to start?

The weight loss is a direct result of not being able to take in enough calories. I'm currently on 4 tetra packs of Boost 2.24 daily with each packing a whopping 530 calories. So that's about 2100 calories a day. Enough to keep me alive and maintain my weight.

Additional food doesn't happen. Between the mouth sores and the (lack of) taste, it's virtually impossible to eat anything. Add in that anything I put in my mouth immediately turns to wallpaper paste and we have an untenable situation.

Much to the chagrin of the world's greatest nutritionist.

The other issue is dehydration. They want me to take in  2 litres of liquid a day. I can manage about 1. That leads to dehydration which leads to other issues as reported by the fairly frequent blood work.

Low sodium, low potassium, low magnesium, low hemoglobin amongst others.

Turns out a couple of these are pretty serious.

Low potassium gets me a few days of pills to try boost that up. Low magnesium has me on daily pills of magnesium and the occasional bag of IV magnesium with my hydration. Low hemoglobin could lead to a blood transfusion, but it hasn't quite come to that yet.

OK, we need to hydrate me.

What this entails is me going to the cancer center and getting hooked up to an IV of saline for a coupla hours. This has the added advantage of them being able to give me things like IV magnesium.

My mostly daily routine for the past several weeks.

The benefit for me is I have a fairly quiet place where I can work. The downside is the place is chilly. But they have warm blankets which I initially eschewed. I've since come around.

I've gotten to be fairly well known and got to know a number of the nurses. Not like we'll be going to lunch or anything, but I think (hope) they see me as easy going and personable. I like them.

With all this comes yet another side effect. Low energy and light-headedness.

The low energy means I can't do much for very long before I'm winded and need to sit down. and if I'm not careful, the light-headedness will take over and decide I am better off on the ground.

Mercifully there haven't been many episodes of this and, as far as I know, no witnesses.

Probably the most entertaining episode was last week.

I was outside, on the deck, doing a couple of things that required me to bend over. Everything was fine until I stood up.

The world started to spin and I could feel my legs giving way to gravity. I tried to move further onto the deck, away from the stairs, but gravity had other ideas.

Down I went and with a whump I landed on my right side at the edge of the deck steps. I barely had time to feel relief that I didn't land on the step when gravity took over again. It pulled on my back and off I went, doing a less that graceful barrel roll towards the lawn.

It wasn't slow motion, like you'd expect, but I remember hitting every step. I rolled off the last one and onto my back, hitting the lawn with a muffled thud, staring up at the sky.

Taking stock, I was relieved to find nothing was broken.

I lay there for a few moments, gathering myself and then sat up. So far so good.

I kinda rolled onto my knees and semi-stood up. Like a dysfunctional crab I scrambled up the stairs and crawled across the deck, away from the stairs. Finally I got onto my hind legs and went inside where I promptly sat down to catch my breath.

In hindsight, I should have seen this coming. But at the time, everything seemed normal so I proceeded as if it were.

Things are not normal, and may not be for some time. I have to try to remember this.

The mouth sores have been another adventure of their own.

They continued to get worse as the treatments went on and continued that trend for 2-3 weeks after. It is only recently that they have started to subside. And this, apparently, is a long, slow process.

It got to the point I couldn't open my mouth more than an inch or so. My tongue movement was severely inhibited, which may have been a good thing as to move it hurt. I had difficulty speaking.

Besides the difficulty speaking, it appears I now speak more softly. This leads to people saying "Pardon me" a lot more frequently. Or in the case of my very good friend, "Huh?" Add to the fact he's half deaf and you get some protracted conversations.

Now couple this with an inordinate amount of thick, obnoxious phlegm, and a dry mouth, one that would suddenly go so dry that it hurt and nothing mattered more than finding the closest source of potable water, and you have a rather untenable situation.

You start searching for relief.

Rinse your mouth with club soda they said.

Unfortunately, carbonation sends the pain receptors into high gear. As does anything with mint or menthol. Brushing my teeth became another adventure as the amount of toothpaste went from a normal amount to simply a swipe across the top of the brush.

Once infected with the minty freshness (they can get fucked), simple tasks such as breathing becomes an exercise in self-inflicted torture as every sore rises up to take part in the assault on my mouth.

Needless to say, I started looking for things that might provide relief.

I tried Sucrets. A cough drop with a mild anesthetic. Despite the obnoxious taste, they did prove a little relief in the early days.

There was the dry cough that would not go away. What better way to deal with a cough than with Benylin, right?

A quick shot to soothe the throat and suppress the nagging, dry cough. Relief is in sight.

Except they put fucking menthol in it.

The burning iciness was almost unbearable. It literally brought tears to my eyes. My entire head was on fire. The pain reached up and into my ears, which I have to tell you, was a new sensation for me. Breathing, even through my nose was horrendous. I tried shallow breaths into my cupped hands... to ensure I was only breathing warm air you understand. That didn't work anywhere near as well as you might have thought it would.

After 5 minutes or so, it subsided. It dealt with the cough, but at what price? The trauma of that episode haunts me still.

Was there nothing to give me relief?

Fast forward to a day not too far in the future. I'm in my chair, plugged into the IV. I must have whined to my nurse practitioner about my troubles as she mentioned Lidocaine. Initially it was the spray, which sort of worked, but it was virtually impossible to get all the sore spots in my mouth.

Then, one day, they mentioned a liquid version that you could swill around in your mouth covering everything.

Now this is a thick, pink, viscous liquid. The taste is passable. In fact, as time rolls on, you get quite used to it.

They presented it to me in a little cup. It looked like Pepto Bismol. This, it turned out, was because they had put something in it to make it more palatable.

It didn't.

The second time I ordered it straight and greatly preferred that.

The biggest benefit was that I could have this prescribed for me and I could use it at home. (I just found out it doesn't need a prescription. I can buy it over the counter.)

It works by numbing the mouth. It lasts for 2-3 hours, if I'm lucky. I can usually wait about 4-5 hours between doses.

It's far from perfect but it does let me function... and sleep... at least for a couple of hours at a time.

Speaking of sleeping. There was a period there where I could only sleep on my right side. As I found out the hard way, if I slept on my back, it would last under an hour and I would suddenly be awake with a start and a throatful of phlegm which necessitated a quick trip to the bathroom to hoark it out before it drowned me.

Sleeping on the left side produced different side-effects, but no less disturbing. I would sleep for perhaps an hour or so and, again, I would wake with a start only to find myself face down in a puddle of rather thick drool.

It should be noted that sleeping on my right side didn't produce these results. They have dissipated, but not abated, in the past few weeks. I am mostly drool-less when I sleep on my right side and I can doze on my back for a bit without worrying about waking up in a panic.

Weight loss is another issue. I have lost somewhere between 20 & 25 pounds in the past 3 months. I honestly never expected to ever be 155 lbs again in my life. I look forward to the day I can actually eat and start gorging myself on all sorts of high cal treats.

Another side-effect of radiation treatments are the radiation burns, in my case on my neck. They tell you to start using cream pretty soon after you start radiation.

I did as I was told and the results have been pretty good. If only everything else would heal as quickly.

They tell me I will need to protect my neck and surrounding area from the sun and it will remain darker for some time, but in the big scheme of things, this is one of the lesser issues.

I had doctors and nurses show great surprise that I have been working through this ordeal. They tell me that after the treatment is done is when most people stop working as it simply becomes too much. I can totally understand this but in my case, I had no choice. No work, no pay. Not a great situation, especially when you add in the additional cost of prescriptions. Nearly $1,000.00 in May alone.

However, I'm through my probationary period and am now on a benefit plan. I hope it will provide some relief but so far it's proving to be pretty pathetic.

Another thing they warn you about is constipation. This is  exacerbated by the narcotic pain killers you are on.

Now constipation is not something with which I was familiar. Perhaps it is my intake of soluble fibre. Craft beer does have it's uses after all.

Regardless, this is new to me. As is taking laxatives twice a day just to ty to keep things moving.

I will spare you the details, suffice it to say things are better now but still far from back to normal and I have no interest in experiencing childbirth.

Nausea is one thing I have not had to suffer through. Which is good as I hate feeling nauseous. Even the thought of it makes me sick.

I had nausea pills to take an hour before chemo and they seemed to work a real treat. I had no nausea from chemo, one thing I am grateful for.

I also have some pills to take as needed for nausea. Initially I didn't need them but lately, I have found myself taking them more as I'm finding the Boost can make my stomach a little upset. If I remember to take the nausea medication a half hour or so before drinking one, I don't appear to have any issues. If not, I'm chasing it after the fact.

All in all things could be worse but I'm not overly excited to find out how. It seems to be taking an inordinate amount of time for my mouth to get back to normal.

The random, dry cough is highly annoying. The pain is manageable. I just need the tastebuds to start working and the phlegm to dry up and I'll be golden. How long that will be is anyone's guess. Not soon enough I'm guessing.

All good things.

S